From Recklessness to Financial Discipline

Choices and not Excuses

Your dream life is possible but not with your current financial habits! Your financial habits are stacking up and you can feel the momentum building. This is your call to action, beloved. It's time to embrace delayed gratification—sacrificing short-term pleasures today for the sake of long-term success and a better future. I’m not financially savvy yet, and I struggle with consistency most—I sometimes slack off. But I can’t ignore the reality of what will happen if I continue spending recklessly, whether it’s in a month, a year, or even a decade from now. I don’t want to face the consequences of neglecting my financial future. And neither should you!

A Gate Way to Financial Freedom

1. Start Living Below Your Means

 You can start by implementing a 24-hour rule for non-essential purchases to help limit impulse         purchases. The urge often passes then, you come to your senses. 

Cook at home as this helps you not eat into your budget. Also carry a bottle of water everywhere to avoid buying random snacks and drinks.

When hanging out with friends set a budget limit for yourself. Or suggest low-cost alternatives like a picnic, sleep over, Kapana day at Single Quarters etc. Don't give in to the pressure of buying or doing because they did rather, stick to your boundaries they will protect you from overspending.

2. Implement the 50/30/20 rule to help you prioritise your needs. Spend 50 per cent of your income on needs (food, transportation, toiletries), 30 per cent on savings and spend 20 per cent on outings/maintenance, 

3. Use a budgeting app like 'money manager' to help you track your every cent. Also, start a 'no spending day/month/week' and only spend on necessities to help you realise how much money you might be wasting. Just focus on being consistent with these habits and I will too. I'm sure this is a step towards the right direction. Meditate on this scripture from Luke 16:10, "He who is faithful with the very little is faithful also in much."

Thank you for tuning in!

A Woman of Virtue

 A Woman of Godly Character

Today's topic is one that's rarely had, purity! A song by Flavour N'abania, "Virtuous Woman" praises a woman of dignity, courage and good fortune, emphasising that her beauty isn't just skin deep! As her beauty is worth more than gold and diamonds. Ladies, this is talking about a Proverbs 31 woman! However, we're focusing on Proverbs 31:30, "Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord is to be honored." Will you answer God's call to purity and embrace it wholeheartedly?

Her Wisdom and Discernment

My grandma always emphasised the importance of integrity as a young woman. She painted this picture for me: Imagine being in a relationship with your God-ordained spouse. You both arrive at a celebration, walking hand in hand, as a couple. As you take in the scenery, you spot three of your exes-men you once gave your heart to, men you thought you'd spend your forever with. These are the same men who had access to parts of you that only your husband should have. They saw intimate sides of you that should have been reserved for your spouse alone. Looking back my grandma's words ring true: Don't give yourself to a man that won't marry you. Beloved, don't give wife-like qualities to a boyfriend. Set healthy boundaries to honor your worth. 

An Unpopular Opinion

Everybody's a Christian until it gets Biblical. In other words, you embrace the label until God says, "Stop fornicating, stop dating him, give up that music, stop wearing that, stop cussing." That's the truth! Similarly, we've normalised sin to the point where we can't imagine life without it. And that's exactly what Satan wants—he wants you to live led astray. Romans 12:2 reminds us: "Do not conform to the patterns of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Please take this to your Father. Ask Him to refine you and take on His perspective. And pray that He helps you hate what He hates and love what He loves.

The Boundaries

1. Be aware of your surroundings

Be careful of your environments and situations you place yourself in. This helps you avoid anything that could make you compromise your commitment to purity. No, don't go over to that boy's house! Avoid seeing him alone all the time, too. Be mindful of temptations, Beloved (1 Timothy 5:22). Flee instead of entertaining. If he is making you compromise or sin than maybe it's time to cut ties with him, no?

2. Set Strict Boundaries

"No touching me inappropriately, as a matter of fact don't touch me," you see how that sounds? It sounds firm and it's giving, "I'm not playing around stop it!" Instead of, "No... stop" and then you giggle/smile only to remove their filthy, lusty hands softly! Do you see the difference between those two responses. Do you get the picture I'm trying to paint here? Girl, please stand up for yourself. Don't be ignorant and be aware of the temptations that exist, protect yourself (1 Thessalonians 4:3-4). Don't give mixed signals. 

In conclusion, if a man doesn't respect women he'll learn to through you. Being virtuous isn't always easy, that's where God comes in. He'll guide you. He'll keep you sane. He made you and the intimacy you crave so tell Him how you feel and ask Him to take it away when it gets unbearable. You've got this, Beloved. You're so loved and adored so move like it! 

Check out my Instagram for some encouragement @tetheredtochrist. I love you but God loves you more. I don't want to exhaust you, so I'll end here.

Clothed with Strength and Dignity

 Modesty and The Heart

Today's topic is on modesty! It is a controversial subject, but I am gladly willing to break the barrier if need be. Modesty isn’t just about how you look – it’s also about how you treat others, focusing more on your character than just your appearance. It does not matter if you are to wear the most expensive dress in the room if your character is flawed, you are repulsive. 

I want you to adorn yourself as a woman of velour embodying the essence of a soft and velvety fabric associated with femininity. Have you noticed the women from reality shows? Those women are absolutely gorgeous, but the moment they speak, it’s all about condemning, drama, lying, and gossiping – it really undermines their dignity and worth, making them seem so much less than they truly are. This blog is focused on helping you possess both. I want you to move with grace! Do you get the picture I am trying to paint here? 

Spend Time with God 

If you have not peeked already, the title of this blog is drawn from a Bible scripture in Proverbs 31:25 (NIV) which says, "She is clothed with strength and dignity". God really helped me refine my definition of 'beauty'. He helped understand that beauty and value does not beg to be seen or scream for attention. If you have really grasped your own beauty, you’d carry yourself with more confidence, without the need to highlight your curves, cleavage, or abs. However, please refer to God in this area of your life. rather in every area. When I first started my modesty journey, I would ask God if He was pleased with my outfit before stepping out of the house or simply, "God what do you want me to wear?". He always came through for me!

How To Develop Your Personal Style

1. Minimise following trends

Following trends can be a slippery slope, not every fabric, color and overall outfit flutters your body type. Instead, follow women with the same body type as you or with style that resonate with yours (stick to modesty, Girl). Always opt for classy outfits and try to build a capsule wardrobe it really comes in handy. 

2.Wear the right size, just because you wear a size 8 does not mean that every pair of jeans or trousers that are a size 8 will fit you amicably. Make peace with that!

 3.Not everything has to hug your body, ladies! Instead, pair flowy bottoms with a snatching top and vice versa. If not that, layer your outfits, wear crop tops on top of turtlenecks or shirts it looks stunning. Also wear oversized shirts/cardigans over and outfit you feel is too revealing, that always saves the day. Hands down!

4. Wear more colors and textured clothing to add a little more edge to your looks. And accesorise this elevates your outfits!

I follow these ladies on Instagram for inspirations:

@themayagraves

@lydiafleurfashion

@hafymo

@edaowofashion

@_rayyaansari

Disclaimer: Not all of these ladies are Christians, and some don't always stick to modest fashion but that's where your discernment comes in.

Ladies, dress in a way that exude the beauty you carry. Allow your natural beauty to shine through.

Well, that is all for me ladies. Remember this conversation does not have to end with me. Let's meet in the comment section, shall we? Do recommend some of your favorite ladies, please! The more the merrier. 

With Love

Paraa

  

The Category Is Body

 Debunking Beauty Standards

It is evident that beauty standards affect how we define beauty. To illustrate, Chinese traditions command svelte women with long legs, small waists and a delicate frame, they associate this with beauty and grace (The Journal of Asian Studies, 2010). In contrast to China is Africa: Africa has always appreciated fuller body types, mainly Black African communities where larger body sizes are associated with wealth, fertility and health.

 Do you see the point I am trying to make here? You are inevitably subject to scrutiny, as well as to favorable responses, depending on where your body type reign or does not. Hence, it is of utmost importance that you find beauty within yourself. You are beautiful! 

I will provide practical tips on how to practices self-compassion but, a poem!

I Am Woman

by Ntozake Shange (1975)

I am a woman

Defined by the ways of my mother

child of my people,

My cline name, is my madden calling 

For I am more than the eye beholds

The poem says, 'I am more than the eye beholds', iterating the picture I am trying to paint. which is the complexity and depth of one's identity, in this case a woman. It suggests that a woman cannot be fully understood based on mere appearances. There is more to an individual than                                                                            what meets the eye.

Practical Tips to Hone Self-compassion

1. Practice self-compassion

When bombarded by negativity about your body, substitute it with kind, uplifting self-talk. Treat yourself as you would a friend! A study by Neff (2011) found that embracing your insecurities, helps you cope.

2. Focus on What Your Body Can Do

In those times when you feel defeated, practice gratitude: whether it is walking, dancing, bathing or simply hugging a loved one. This reduces the pressure to look a certain way, (Body Image, 2014).

3. Surround Yourself with Positivity

Social media can be a toxic place as it tends to promote certain body types depending on trends. Therefore, it is ideal to curate your feeds to display self-love, diversity, body positivity etc. We do not want you to turn into a case of body dysmorphia or become addicted to plastic surgery.